Motherhood brings about one of the biggest adventures in your life. It all begins with pregnancy. Your belly expands, a little person is rapidly growing inside of you, and your mind drifts to thoughts of what the future holds. I was no exception, except that my pregnancy brought about a bigger adventure than I could have possibly foreseen.
In June of 2012, I visited my husband in New Zealand. Little did I know, I had more than pictures and t-shirts for souvenirs. In July, we found out I was pregnant!! Ben and I were excited, and then the worry set in. Ben was in New Zealand, and I was in the U.S. What were we going to do? Where were we going to live? After talking and looking at our options, we decided that I would move to NZ.
The decision to move brought with it a separate list of hurdles which included immigration and finding a midwife, from the other side of the world. I was a labor and delivery nurse. I had a set way of thinking when it come to maternity care. I worked with and trusted my OB doctor. I had no idea what kind of care New Zealand offered, and I only had a short amount of time to find out because I really didn't need to make the flight to NZ during my 3rd trimester. Ben reassured me everything would be fine, I started researching, and together, we poured through the lists of midwives looking for the perfect one. I'm happy to say we found her!
Christina was immediately short listed after we read through her website, saw her credentials and experience, and heard recommendations. I emailed her, and after Christina's response, I knew she was the one. Christina was familiar with what I was accustomed to, gave me more information about NZ maternity care, and as a bonus, she had traveled through my small town in Alabama. Christina agreed to take me on, and over the next few months, I was her 'internet patient'.
I would email Christina updates after my OB appointments and fill her in on how I was progressing. She always responded quickly and offered advice, if I needed it. She went above and beyond what I expected, and I was so thankful. Because of her, I had one less thing to stress over. I had confidence in her, and she put me at ease. I knew I did not have to worry about the level of care I would receive, and instead, I could turn my thoughts to the nearly 14,000 kilometer flight back to New Zealand.
In December, at 26 weeks pregnant, I boarded the plane for the 20 hour journey back. Things didn't slow down once landed, and for a while, our life was extremely hectic. On top of having a baby to prepare for, Ben and I married, I had a new country to adjust to, and I was finally able to meet my midwife! Christina booked me in shortly after I arrived, and after meeting her, I was even more pleased that she had agreed to be my LMC provider. Christina was not just my midwife, but she also helped me adjust to life in NZ.
She recommended groups and activities to get me out of the house and to help me meet people. She always made sure I was feeling well both physically and emotionally, and I knew that I could talk to her if I needed to. We discussed the differences in care between NZ and the U.S., she explained the evidence behind some of the practices in NZ, and she made sure I was comfortable with the decisions we made regarding my care. I looked forward to my appointments with Christina, and I think she looked forward to them as well (Ben and I provided a good laugh for her rather it be telling the story of how I ended up in New Zealand, or hearing about our random weekend trips...including one to Australia at nearly 35 weeks pregnant).
As my due date grew closer, I began to have little worries again. I planned on having an unmedicated water birth at Waterford Birth Centre, I had no desire to birth in the hospital because for me it was a source of anxiety. I was not afraid of the care I would receive in the hospital. I was nervous that I would scare myself into wanting a c-section if I saw something on the monitor I didn't like...remember, I actually know how to read those things. Luckily, Miss Priss decided to come on her own.
March 17, 2013 was a typical day. Ben and I had watched movies, I sat on my yoga ball trying to get our little one to straighten up, and as usual, I had no contractions. We had dinner, watched more movies, and finally decided to go to bed around 10:30. I woke up hurting around midnight. I got up because I couldn't get comfortable, and I didn't want to wake Ben since he had to work that morning. I went into the living room and sat back on my ball. I was definitely having contractions, but I wanted to make sure they were real and not Braxton Hicks. By 12:30, I knew I was in labor. My contractions were every 2 to 3 minutes.
I woke Ben, and told him to get his things ready. I stood in the shower letting the water run over my back while Ben gathered what he needed and checked to make sure all of my things were packed. I finally got out of the shower and knelt at the side of my bed. My contractions were getting stronger, and I was not really able to talk through them. I had started to think I might be more comfortable at the birth centre, but I didn't want to go too soon. I called my mom back in the U.S., but I couldn't talk to her very long. Our conversation lasted 6 minutes, and I had 3 contractions during that time. I told Ben I was calling Christina.
At 130 I placed the call, and after talking to me through a contraction, Christina told me to head to Waterford, and she would notify them I was coming in. Ben loaded up the car, I huffed and puffed through my contractions, and finally we were on our way. Thankfully, the drive was less than 10 minutes, but those 10 minutes were not comfortable. My back hurt, and I wanted to be back on all fours. At 2:00, I got my wish. I was on the bean bag, Ben was rubbing my back, and I felt better being at the birth centre. Christina arrived shortly thereafter, and she checked me to see how far I had progressed. At 02:15 I was 7cm dilated with a bulging amniotic sac.
When she told me, I had a moment of panic inside my head. There was no turning back, I had to do this naturally because at this point a hospital transfer and epidural were completely out of the picture. Up until then, I had always told myself to relax and not worry about the pain being too much because I had a great support system, I was educated on child birth, and yes, I could always change my mind should I need to. My moment of fear disappeared with the next contraction, and all I could think about then was getting off the bed and back to the bean bag. Ben and Christina helped me up, and then Christina went to fill the tub for me.
At 2:30, I climbed into the tub. The lighting in the room was low, the water was warm, and I was able to change positions more easily. My contractions seemed to pick up and become more intense. I felt like they were one right on top of the other, and I felt an enormous amount of pressure. My water broke at 2:45, and at that point, I no longer wanted to change positions. I relaxed against the tub. Ben and Christina reassured me that I was doing a wonderful job, offered me water to keep me hydrated, and they reminded me to breath slow and deep through each contraction.
I started to get a bit nauseated, and I knew what that meant, it wouldn't be long before my little girl was born. Around 3:00 I began to feel a burning pressure, I told Christina and she encouraged me to push when I felt the urge. I pushed a little, and when I did, I felt her move down; it scared me. I had a mental image of where she was positioned, and I thought to myself that I didn't want to push because it was going to hurt. I breathed through a few more contractions, and then I no longer cared if it hurt because the pressure and contractions were too much. I knew pushing was the only way to make it all stop.
I started really pushing at 3:10. Ben kept me grounded and reminded me to control my breathing between contractions. Christina encouraged me to push through the pain, and when I was close to crowning, she started directing my pushing to prevent tearing as much as possible. I focused on Christina. I listened and did exactly as she instructed...push gently, pant, let the head slowly ease out. Once her head was out, I pushed once more. Less than 3 and a half hours from my first contraction, I was holding my baby girl.
Our little girl entered the world and was placed on my chest at 3:21 am on March 18th. Her cord was cut once it stopped pulsing, and Ben held her while I delivered the placenta. I was moved back to the bed, and Christina examined me. I was completely intact. Little Stevie was given back to me, and she immediately started breastfeeding.
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| There we are!! |
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| Look...even smiling! |
I went into this wondering what all the hoop-la was about. I didn't think the medical community was out to "ruin" my birth experience or "force" me birth a certain way for liability issues. I was just honestly curious why women chose to go this route. I didn't have a lengthy birth plan, and the only reason I had one was because my medical record has a place for it to be filled in. I was open to whatever worked. I didn't take classes and read lots of books, and I didn't hound Ben to read certain books or make out "affirmation cards". Nope, I was your laid back whatever goes patient. All of that other stuff would stress me out, I mean really, I don't think I wanted him shuffling through a deck of flash cards to tell me what position would be more comfortable to me (I'm in no way knocking those that do. I just know it would stress me if my plan was being ruined by baby's time line).
So what did I learn? During those moments, and looking back, I finally saw why women choose to have natural child births. The experience was more than I could have ever imagined. Did it hurt? Oh yeah it did, but I didn't think I was dying, and thankfully we have these wonderful hormones that kinda dull your memory of what it was actually like...lol I think probably the best way to describe it is to say it was intense. That's a more accurate picture than just calling it painful. Yes, there were a couple of times I asked Ben to make it stop, and I said "I'm having an epidural with the next one". Mainly I just told Ben and Christina "It hurts" a few times. I didn't scream like a banshee, I didn't curse and carry on like you see on tv, and really I just went with it.
I had gas and air available, and had I not been close to delivery, I had pethidine (demerol) as an option. I didn't ask for either, nor did I think about asking for anything. I knew fighting it would make it harder, so I focused on breathing and getting through one contraction at a time. I'm saying my methods were successful because I can say I did it!! I was able to see just what my body was capable of, and it was amazing! My husband and Christina were everything I could have hoped for in a support system, and without them, I could not have done it. The way I chose to deliver may not be for everyone, but having had an epidural with my first, I can say the choice I made with this birth was the best choice for me.
So you may be wondering, would I do it this way again? You bet I would!!! ;)
