Say What?!

Part of moving to another country is learning to understand the locals.  It seems simple enough because the majority of kiwis speak English and you have to be able to do the same if you want to come live here.  That's where you get fooled.  I considered myself lucky because Ben is a kiwi, so I was familiar with his little expressions, the way he said things, his accent, and even how fast he talked.  We southerners don't get in a hurry when we speak, so imagine my surprise when I got to New Zealand and realized everyone spoke faster than a chipmunk on speed...and then you put a couple of them together having a conversation.  I had NO.I.DEA what 3/4 of the people around me were saying.  I did a lot of smiling and nodding initially, and I'm pretty sure my random smiles and nods earned me a few strange looks.

But wait, shouldn't I have had an easy time since I was used to Ben?  One would think, but then he got around his 'cuzzies' and 'bros' and he too got smiles, nods, and blank stares.  I know you think I'm exaggerating, but picture this, you're sitting at a red light, and some random dude yells "Aye, Ben!!" (yes, this happens ALL THE TIME, I swear I expected Ben to see someone he knew while we were over in Oz)  Ben leans over me and proceeds to yell back out the window to random dude "Ah, chur cuz!  Chu been up to bro?"  "Ah yeah, nah, yeah, just got back aye...shot over to Ragz for the day yesterday."  "Choooice!!" "Yeah, it was primo, but I got the chop from the kids and my wife cuz they weren't on holiday."  (they both laugh at this and I did too because laughing seemed appropriate) "Yeah man, that's us..light's green!"  "Sweet as!" "Catch!"

WHAT JUST HAPPENED THERE?!?!  Here's that conversation translated:  "Hey, Ben!" "Hey, friend!  What have you been up to?"  "I just got home.  I went over to Raglan for the day yesterday."  "Awesome!"  "Yeah, it was great, but the wife and kids were upset they didn't get to go because they weren't off of work and school."  "Gotta go, green light"  "That's alright!" "Bye!"  That conversation took place during the 10 seconds we were waiting for the light to turn, so yes, they too sounded like chipmunks on speed.  Ben claims kiwis don't speak fast, but they do...they just do! 

So, before you plan on coming for a visit or moving to another country, you should probably brush up on the local's lingo.  Luckily, you have me here to translate and give you a heads up on a few things you can expect to hear around our ways.  Like other parts of the world, you're going to get different little expressions and sayings depending on your exact location (example, other parts of the States don't say 'bless your heart' or 'y'all' nearly as often as southerners), but I can give you the gist of things.  Also, this is not THE definitive kiwi sayings list.  These are common phrases I hear.  If you're around a bunch of expats, you may not hear these phrases being said.

Oh, and one more thing...if someone asks you what you've been up to, don't say 'piddling around'.  I earned blank stares from Ben and his mother when I used this expression.  Piddling is going to the bathroom, so a few times I told them I had been peeing around the house all day. 

So, what you've all been waiting for...common expressions used around here!!

kia ora - hello
You will hear this and see this from the moment you log on to the Air New Zealand website to book your plane tickets.  This is actually Te Reo Maori, but you'll hear pakeha (not of the tribe) using it as well.

cuz - friend or cousin (non gender specific)

bro - male friend or brother

sis - female friend or sister

sweet as - you're welcome/no problem/yes (in agreement)/expression of admiration/I don't want to but I will/I'll be happy to
Example:  "Thanks for shouting lunch!"  "Sweet as!"
How not to use it:  "We're going out for a sweet as lunch."  "We're going to lunch and it's gonna be sweet as."  You may go to a sweet restaurant for lunch, but you are not going to a sweet as restaurant for lunch.  See the difference?  It takes some getting use to to be able to see how and when to use this correctly.

sweet - awesome, primo, choice
You may have a sweet new ride, you may go to a sweet new restaurant.  Sweet is used to describe a noun. 

primo or preemz - awesome
Example:  "The weather was priiiiimo!!"

mean - mean is not a bad thing, it's good! See sweet as, primo, awesome, or used as an emphasis
Example:  "You mean got told!"  "You mean got the chop" or "That party was meeeeaaaan!"

choice - may be accompanied by a thumbs up and can be a positive or negative.  See sweet as, primo, mean, shot
Example: "I got a new job!" "Ah, choice bro, that's mean!" On the other hand, if someone cuts you off in traffic... "Ah yeah, you're choice..."

shot - awesome/thank you/good on you or can be a negative when used sarcastically
Example:  "Shot bro, you're awesome" that would be a negative because someone just did something stupid or inconsiderate, but if they said "Shot bro, you're awesome!" that's a positive because they used it with a happy tone!

chur - when accompanied by the appropriate individual identifier, it is a greeting, farewell, acknowledgement, thank you, you're welcome, all good, no worries
Example:  "Chur bro, chu been up to?"

is that us - asking about someone's eagerness to do something
Example:  When getting ready to leave the house.  "Right, is that us?"  in other words "Are you ready?"

sorted - all good/ready/everything is taken care of
Example:  When getting ready to leave the house "Are you sorted?"  or "I sorted my doctor's appointment."

safe as - I've got it covered/no worries/sorted
Example:  "Can you make sure the back door is locked before you go?"  "Safe as"

got the chop - embarassed/denied/told off
Example:  You ask a girl out, and she says no.  You're buddies are in the background snickering because "You mean got the chop!"

got told - getting scolded/berated
Example:  You've been out too late with your friends, and when you get home you're partner is upset about this, so "You got told!"

cheap as - just that, cheap or inexpensive
Example:  "I just sorted tickets for our trip to Oz.  They were cheap as!"

a feed - a meal
Example:  We're heading over to mom's for a feed."

shout - pay for
Example:  "I'm shouting lunch."

good as gold - no worries/you're welcome
Example:  "Thanks for lunch!" "Ah, good as gold!"

nice one - thank you/primo/congratulations/awesome
Example:  "I scored a new job!" "Nice one, bro!"

too much - that's fantastic/that's awesome/thank you so much
Example:  "Oh, you're compiling a kiwi to American dictionary?  You're too much alright."

good on ya - depending on how it's used, it can be good or bad.  It is a call on behavior if you do something stupid or inconsiderate.  It can be used to say good job if you do something considerate.
Example:  "I've been cleaning house all day." "Good on ya, darling put your feet up."  On the other hand, if you just drop a glass and it shatters "Good on ya"

no worries - all good/you're welcome
Example:  "Thanks for helping clean up the shattered glass." "No worries, cuz"

stuffed - tired
Example:  "What's for dinner?" "I can't be bothered cooking, I'm stuffed."

she'll be right - it'll be okay
Example:  "You think the number 8 is gonna hold the muffler on?" "Yeah mate, she'll be right" (number 8 is fencing wire)

on to it - clever or getting things done
Example:  "I've been sorting through the kids stuff getting everything organized today."  "Ah, you're on to it."

church it up - exaggerate
Example:  "I'm stuffed!  I've been busy all day!" "Don't let her church it up, she's had her feet up all day!"

save it for Sunday - don't exaggerate
Example:  "I'm stuffed after cleaning all day!"  "Save it for Sunday!"  You'll also hear "Don't church it up, save it for Sunday!" or "Save it for Sunday, don't church it up!"

you don't know - whatever
Example:  "Man City's gonna lose tonight!"  "Shut up, you don't know!"

yeah, nah, yeah...(may have an 'aye' before you receive the explanation)- yes or no depending on context and tone, or may just be used to start a sentence
Example:  "Did you get out to the beach this weekend?" "Yeah, nah, yeah, we were going to but the wife had to shoot out to her mom's." or "Yeah, nah, yeah, we got out there on Saturday."

what's your buzz - what's your problem/what are you on about/what do you think you're doing
Example:  You're having a rant at the kids, and your partner walks in "What's your buzz?"

This is just a smidge of what I hear and try to understand.  It's gotten much better, and I use some of the little expressions myself.  However, I still get lost at times...let the whanau get together and start slinging around Maori words, and I am left trying to decipher through the muddle of confusion that Google Translate can't figure out.  If I get too lost, I remember to...

Part 2 of Cloth Diapers/Nappies/CD/MCD/MCN/You Get The Drift...

Okay, so, last time, I talked about what diapers we picked and why, along with a few negative things I've been told about using cloth.  What I really didn't do was go into much detail about what to do once your nappies have arrived.  So, here we go...

We decided to use disposables during the newborn stage, and we also needed Little Stevie to be big enough to fit in her cloth.  Babies need to be around 4 to 4.5Kg (9-10lb) to really fit BG.  Let me just say, I couldn't WAIT to get her in cloth.  We had more blowouts in those blasted disposables than I care to count!  It's 2 am, I'm trying to feed her in the dark, and I'm like "what's that wet spot?!?"  Yep, leaky diaper, and more often than not, it was poo.  It would come out the back, out the sides, and it didn't matter what size she had on...they leaked!!  We tried a couple of different brands, and still, they leaked.  See why I'm not afraid of rinsing used nappies?  Rinsing cloth isn't nearly as bad as snuggling your baby against you only to realize you're drenching yourself in baby poop.

Thankfully, the day arrived that we felt comfortable with the fit of her cloth. We knew how to put them on, but what happens once they come off?  Well, that's easy, and it depends on who you ask.  Again, everyone (you know who everyone is...the internet Cloth Diaper Guru Moms) has something different to say, but I go by the general consensus.  I do the following:  take them off, take out the insert, unsnap them, give them a good rinse, squeeze out the excess water, and pop the nappy into a dry pail.  A dry pail, well, my dry pail, is a plastic storage container that sits in my bathroom.  It has a lid that I put on, but I don't seal it.  I have nothing in the container....no water, no detergent, nothing.  On wash day, I tip the pail over my washer, pour everything in, turn on my washer, and clean my bucket.  Often, I'll set the container outside to air out and get some sunshine.  No smells!

You can also get a wet bag, which is what I use when we're out and about.  Some people find them to be a great option because you can hang the bag wherever you need it to be.  I find my dry pail more convenient because I have the perfect space for it to sit, and I don't have to unzip and bag.  I kinda just kick my lid off with my foot.  Here's the lowdown on wet bags.  Wet bags work like dry pails.  They're lined zipper/snap bags.  You store diapers the same way as a dry pail.  On wash day, pour the nappies in the wash, pop the bag inside out, toss the bag in washer, and turn on your machine!

Speaking of washing, there's a big hooplah over "the right way to wash".  Basically, here's what I think, if it works for you and doesn't ruin your nappies, go for it.  Again, be careful and go by your diaper manufacturers' guidelines.  You don't want to ruin them or void your warranty.  Other than that, it's variable based on your diaper, washer, detergent, and water.  I do the following: cold wash on the longest cycle with the most amount of water possible, extra rinse, hang outside to dry.  I use an eco friendly wash that's not harmful to nappies.  I use 3/4 of the recommended amount because nappies will get a detergent build up if you use too much, and they won't get clean if you use too little.  Build up prevention is why I do an extra rinse after the wash cycle.  Sometimes I pre-rinse in the washer, if for some reason she's been really rough on the diaper, but we do a good job of rinsing them when we take them off, and we've had no issues with my routine.

Some hot wash because it gets them cleaner, or they think it's more sanitary to wash in hot.  I'm fine with cold washing.  We have no smell or diaper rash issues, so I know my method is fine.  I can bleach them per BG with 1/4 cup once per month, but I haven't needed to.  I line dry in the sun, and if it's raining, I use the clothes horse.  Sometimes, the inserts get dried in the drier, but only if there's no chance of sun, or if they're just not drying inside and we're soon going to run out of nappies.  I never ever ever dry my shells in the drier.  It's not good for them, and again, if it is harmful to your nappies, just don't do it.  I really don't like drying my inserts in the drier either because I'm convinced it will wear them out if done long enough.  I don't think it really will, but I don't want to risk it.  Just to be safe, and because the sun is awesome, if possible we do all drying outside.

Clothes Horse Drying

Sun is nature's bleach, and each time they come in after being outside, they look brand spanking new!  Also, the sun works to kill the fungus that causes nappy rash.  Here's another little handy dandy sun fact.  If you have a little one that has a bit of a rash, or a stubborn rash you can't seem to get rid of, stick that little bum outside in the sun.  Use common sense here, don't let the little tush burn!!  If you lack common sense, just don't do this, continue to use your over-the-counter products and consult your doctor.

You can tell, washing and sunning are kind of a big deal.  I'm a bit anal over these two things because I want to continue to not have issues.  Yes, I will admit, I've been known to get so hung up on my washing routine that I have gotten a bit grumpy at Ben over not washing the way I want them washed.  He chunks them in, sets it on a quicker cycle, uses the amount of water that you would usually use wash a similar sized load of clothes, and then sets the washer for another rinse cycle.  I walk in, see this, and go Mommy Dearest on him.  You know Mommy Dearest?  The movie where Joan Crawford spazzes out over wire hangers?  Well, that's me except I'm all "No short cycle with low water!!!!"

In case you don't know about Mommy Dearest...here's the clip

Mommy Dearest No Wire Hangers Ever!!!!

Me Being Spaztastic Over The Washing Routine

He now uses the longer wash cycle, since I asked, but I'm still not sure rather or not he uses the water setting I prefer.  I make a point to not walk by the washer if he's thrown them in because I don't want to go psycho over it, and mainly, I'm just thankful he'll take the time to wash nappies for me.  I could be one of those women grumbling about how her husband never helps around the house.  Nope, I'm going to keep my mouth shut and be grateful for the chance to snuggle under the cover and sleep in a bit longer while he goes on nappy washing duty.

So, what are these horrible things I'm trying to prevent?  Detergent build up, ammonia build up, stink, and repelling.  You read a variety of causes and a variety of solutions.  Some people get worked up over the right way and wrong way to remedy each problem.  Again, I think the remedy is whatever works for you based on your nappies, washer, and water type.  I have no personal experience for dealing with any of these things, so I'm going to refrain from saying what does and doesn't work for each issue.  If we do have any of these issues, I'm sure you'll get to read aaaaaallll about it in a blog post.

There you have it.  My thoughts on washing and cloth problems.  We've been in cloth full time for two months now, and I really am pleased with our decision to use them.  I can't complain about BumGenius, and I would recommend them to anyone.  They're user friendly, and it's nice to not feel like you're asking for your family to put forth a lot of effort when they babysit.  We've had no blowouts due to diaper error, and only 2 or maybe 3 due to Mommy error.  I didn't stuff the inserts correctly a time or two, and another time I didn't put the diaper on her straight.  You know what happened!  The cloth still did a better job containing the blow outs than the disposables EVER did!!

I like cloth so much that I'm anxious to try the different types.  I really want to get my hands on a few prefolds and covers with varying blends of material.  Any other children we have will be in cloth from the moment a nappy is first put on their behind, so I think it would be wise to get accustomed to prefolds now, since they seem to be the best fit for newbie babies.  No, there's no newbie on the way, but it never hurts to be prepared!  I am also a bit curious about the absorbency of different nappy fabrics.  We don't have any complaints now, but again, for future reference it would be nice.

Any materials or brands you would recommend I try? 

How to Adjust (As Pain Free As Possible)

Guess what...I'm not writing about what I originally planned to write about.  I know I said I was going to fill you in on a haka, but I've got a bit more fact checking to do before I'm comfortable putting that piece up.  Instead, you're going to get to take a walk down memory lane with me because I realized I have been in New Zealand for six months, and I'm going to talk about adjusting to life in a new country.

Before I left, everyone was giving me tips on how to adapt and what I should and should not do.  Everyone also said to "give yourself six months before you decide you don't like living there".  I read and researched ways to make life as an expat less difficult, and for the most part, all of the advice was spot on.  I did say for the most part.  So many times I have read and heard "If you don't like it, you can always move back home."  I think that is the worst way to look at making a big move.

I mulled that piece of advice over in my head on several occasions, and one day while washing dishes, it hit me.  I won't ever "go back home" for more than visits.  I know some of you are thinking "never say never because you don't know what the future holds". No, I don't know what the future holds, but I can tell you if Ben and I ever moved to the U.S., it wouldn't be "going home".  Even if we moved back to Alabama, it will not be what I left.

My life is different, my family in Alabama didn't cease to live because I'm no longer there, and my friends have moved on and filled in my empty slot.  This doesn't mean that they're less important to me or I to them, but it does mean there's no going back to how things once were.  Time didn't stop once I moved away, and things have changed, including me.  The glasses that color my world aren't the same, so I would never see my home in Alabama like I use to.  When I had this great epiphany, I was saddened by it, initially.  It's hard to let go of the past, and life in Alabama is my past.

Letting go of what once was doesn't mean forgetting it, because your past is part of who you are.  I thought about that for a bit, and then I cheered up.  I will always be a southern girl, but this southern girl knows that she has to live in the present and future.  I keep up with my family and friends, but I don't look at my life thinking I can always go back.  It's made adapting to life here much easier for me.

Another thing that's made life in another country easier is realizing I'm in another country.  So many expats get caught up in trying to make their new home the same as their old home.  They don't like the way the New Zealand businesses shut down without notice over summer break, they don't like how kiwis are more concerned with going to the beach than driving a new SUV, they don't like the food, they don't like the dress, cost of living is too high...you get the picture.  A lot of expats want here to be like "there".  Sorry, it doesn't work like that, and once I realized that, things here became easier for me.

For the most part, I embrace the kiwi culture, and I love most aspects of it.  Sure, there are some things I don't love, such as someone offering me tea and it being hot with milk in it, but I don't dwell on things I can't change.  I incorporate what I miss into my life, but I don't expect kiwis or New Zealand as a whole to change to accommodate me and my culture.  I made the choice to move here, and in doing so, I accepted the responsibility of adapting to a new way of life.  I think the quicker expats learn cultural assimilation, the easier they will find life in their new home.

Part of living in a new country also means making friends with the locals.  There's a whole lot of foreigners in New Zealand, and you'll also find support groups for expats, forums on the internet, cultural affiliation get togethers, etc.  That's great!  There's an initial base of support to help transplants get acclimated to their new life, but after a certain point it kinda becomes a crutch.  See, a lot of immigrants want to hang out with immigrants, and then they get to talking about the differences between here and where-ever they're from. After that, they start grumbling about things they don't like here.  They end up disgruntled, missing 'home', and angry because they expect NZ to adapt to their way of life.

This is why I say get to know the locals.  You'll hear some people claim that outsiders aren't welcome, but I can assure you, that's not the case.  EVERYONE knows I'm not a local.  My accent gives it away, and out of all the immigrants here, I get asked "Where are you from?"  I've not had anyone be rude or make snide remarks about Americans.  I think it's because I'm rather friendly and don't sit around going on and on about New Zealand's inferiority to my home country.  Kiwis are a proud bunch, and they're not going to take kindly to an outsider bashing their country and wanting to make it more like 'home'.  The way they see it is if you don't like it here, go back home, they didn't ask you to move here!

Which brings me to another key feature of successful immigration....come here, or there, or wherever you think you might want to live!!  I hear and read about so many people that up and move somewhere sight unseen, or in New Zealand's case, sight seen on the big screen.  Sure, there are some people that pick up and move to a place they've never traveled to, but for the average person, you're setting yourself up for failure.  I didn't move here without knowing what I was getting into.  I visited last year, and I didn't stay on the tourist path either.  Ben made sure I got to see what life as a local was like.  I saw the prices of food, clothes, houses, gas, etc.  It's easy to get caught up in the beauty and touristy parts of NZ, but I had to keep in mind life here wasn't going to be as a tourist.

Also part of not being a tourist meant I had to deal with immigration and local licensing authorities.  I'm not going to get into what all that entailed right now, but I will tell you that I did so much reading before my sudden move.  Do your research before deciding to immigrate, and be prepared to jump through lots of hoops.  Don't expect special consideration to be given to you for your particular situation because you won't get it.  I have been frustrated numerous times, but I successfully managed to work my way through it.

Now you know what I've done to adapt to life in Aotearoa (Maori for Land of the Long White Cloud aka New Zealand), and I'm sure they can be applied to any move.  We'll see if my little bag of tricks are still working for me in another six months, once I'm out of the honeymoon phase.

If any of you have tips to make life in a new place easier, I would love to hear them!!